Identity Crisis

I’m a role-player, I still have role-play accounts that I jump on sometimes but I haven’t role-played in a while. Every time I get a good idea, I jot it down and put it in my “to be completed” folder. You know, a few short lines, enough to jog my memory and then whatever setting details or descriptions I had.

That folder is filled with all sorts of good ideas, maybe a few great ones. I have THREE series listed on an electric blue post-it note just above and over to the left of my laptop as we speak, yes I’m scared to take that next step.

I guess I don’t’ consider myself a writer, despite what it says in my twitter profile. I write things, I have moved people to tears and made them want to kill certain characters, but that was all while I safely hid behind the term Role Play.

I have role-played as characters in books before but that wasn’t where my joy was. Most of the things that I wrote and enjoyed were interactions with original characters, both others and mine.

I guess I fear the 50-shades of backlash. If I started as a role player, will I always be a role-player? My pen name is even that of my first original character who I took so much time to create and is just as much a part of me as anything anyone could write.

So do I have to stop role-playing to be taken seriously as a writer? I know other people, both published and soon to be published that have used this form as an exercise. Think of the difference in strength training versus maintenance. I guess now I see that role-play is a way to maintain the current skills and confidence that I have and if I want to go farther and be and do more I have to go out there and loft that monster tire even if it squashes me the first few, or hundred, times. (Sorry, I have weird visions pop into my head.)

Therefore, my website is going to get some surgery. A nip here, a tuck there possible an amputation or two. It will still be me, but hopefully, it will be more the window into my soul as a writer and not the strategically taken picture in the bathroom mirror that only shows what I’m comfortable in other people seeing.

Anything thoughts or criticism would be welcome. My new personal goal is to have something as ready as I can to submit to an agent by Fall. Heck, let’s set a date and put it on Halloween. It will be the scariest thing I have ever done in my life and I may fail, but I also know that if I fail to try I can never truly be happy.

A-Day Submission Deadline Set

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About TXMoonbaby

Farmgirl, caregiver, furmommy and try-to-be-writer who floods Twitter with the antics of the characters in my head, like @TammyJo__.

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