I’ve been to other vampire meetings, they’re never fun but last nights just seemed worse. I guess it could be because Roman and I faced down 3 of Mississippi’s most important vampires, then again it could be that I feel that way because Warren was sitting at the table too, on the opposing side.
Damn, I sure pegged him wrong and he played me like a fiddle. I can’t believe that I fell for the line of shit he was serving. Sure, today he said that what was between us was truth but wouldn’t I say that too if I was in his place?
Russell and Talbot hate me and I’m guessing every wolf. They seem to think now that Roman is with me he should feel lucky they are still offering him this job. I’m starting to wonder how much crap Roman has been getting from everyone about me that I didn’t realize.
I just want what’s best for Roman, I want him to live up to his potential and help him along the way but what if I’m holding him back. Worse, what if I’m pushing him in to something that he doesn’t want to do.
He made a big deal about us going to Mississippi as a package deal, but what Warren said tonight struck a chord. Roman will need all sorts of help setting up for his new position here and I could be a means to an end.
Roman didn’t tell me about an incident that happened at the casino either. No, I had to find out from Warren. Maybe I’m fooling myself and I should realize it was all in the chase with Roman…but that’s not what my heart is screaming.
Damn you Warren, you have my mind and heart all twisted. I don’t know the sun from the moon at this point. Still the heart wants what it wants and mine wants Roman. So what if my wolf wants Warren, Grandma Wulf said follow your heart, not follow your bitch-in-heat.
Too many changes are happening to quickly, I just need to be still and think things through. Maybe I’ll go back up to the roof. Then again maybe I’ll make my way down to the beach. All I know is I need someplace to be alone with my thoughts. I hope Roman understands.