I hear a cry, it’s soft at first but it is insistent. I slip out of Roman’s arms and I go down the hall to find it. Door after door is shut and locked still the cries get louder my panic increases. I hear Roman call my name, he is worried about me. I tell him to hurry, the baby needs me.
Inside a room there are 4 cribs. Behind each one is a wolf, Dad, Connor, Rafe and to my surprise Warren, still only one baby cries.
I walk up to Dad and ask what’s going on. He doesn’t say a word just points in the crib. I look down and I see me but much older and alone sitting in an empty nursery. I shake my head and deny that will be my life and turn to the second crib.
Connor is standing behind it with a little girl in his arms. I wonder if this is the child that is crying but then Cherry comes and takes the little girl and stands beside him. I look down in the crib and see a beautiful baby girl waiting there and I ache to pick her up but somehow I know that if I do Connor and Cherry will leave my life. Not wanting that I move to the next crib.
That crib is in front of Rafe. In it lays a healthy boy that is so strong but I know somehow just looking at them that my life will change forever. The baby is reaching out for me, the sound of the baby’s cry continues and I start to bend down to pick him up just as Rafe moves the cradle further away. I follow both him and the baby until I realize they are leading me away from Roman. As much as I want to pick the baby boy up, I turn and walk away.
The last crib is suddenly bathed in soft light. Warren motions for me to come over. I look down and see the child that lays there, this time swathed in yellow. Somehow I know this is a child that could be, and this baby was crying. Nothing Warren could do would soothe it, the child wanted it’s mother and that mother was me.
Tears ran down my face and dropped on the little yellow receiving blanket. I reached out and soothed the crying infant by stroking its cheek with my fingertips. The crying seemed to lessen and I could finally hear Roman calling out my name again.
I looked up to see Roman standing a few feet away with Baby Abel in his arms. I couldn’t help but smile, they really did look like father and son. Abel was speaking a baby’s gibberish and then two words popped out we all recognized, Dada and Mama. I couldn’t help but laugh, I was so happy for Roman, he finally heard the words he had longed to hear. I could look and see blood tears on the verge of falling. I started to take a step back towards them when the baby that Warren was now holding got it’s fingers tangled in my hair.
It was then that I woke up, leaving myself in the dream stuck between two men and two babies yet with empty arms. A single step in either direction and I could hold a child, but where I was now my arms were empty and aching.
I know this dream probably had to do with what Levy told me last night. I couldn’t think about it now, I was exhausted from both the night before and the emotions of the dreams. So I set it aside and snuggled closer to Roman as he laid dead for the day. I sincerely hoped that I wouldn’t dream this time, but if I had to dream, I hoped these dreams had answers.