Blogathon 2011: What I’ve realized

So this is my last official blog for The 2011 Blogathon and while I’ve managed to post each day of it, I’m not sure I’d consider my foray into it a success.

Please don’t get me wrong, I use my site more like I wanted to, I managed to gain over 600 hits to my mostly unused site and that thrills me. I have a clear image of TammyJo in my head and though I didn’t necessarily put it down for all to see, I have it set in concrete for the future.

I’ve also recognized that I write better with my buddy Kaleb for inspiration. It doesn’t have to be a story between Roman and TJ, he encourages me to write period. As of now I have 5 stories and 3 ideas floating around and they may unfold at some point, but as I told my friend Mena, I felt like I was missing opportunities to write by saving up ideas to get through the month. Stupid Brainfarts just won’t come when they would be helpful.

The other thing I’ve realized, I don’t like being forced to write every day. Just like this blog, I’ve been writing on it all day but it is now 11:30 and I’m stressed to get it out by midnight.

I’m also thinking of trying my hand at YA works. I’m familiar with teaching, I know how important books to teach and encourage kids to read are, I think I can organize a book that would fit that niche, hopefully I can make it entertaining.

Lastly, I miss being outdoors. It is summer, I miss the fresh air. I’ve spent so much time indoors with winter and tax season that I’m afraid the laptop and blackberry may have to be left. The world is calling me, and now without a Blogathon demanding attention I can answer.


Dreaming my Dreams with You

I couldn’t breathe well, whatever they had put on the rag still burned my throat. I was still fighting but without oxygen I had all the fight of an angry kitten. A slap to my face seemed to reverberate through my skull and whatever the leader hissed at my ear seemed to be lost in the waves of pain.

I must have lost consciousness because when I awoke I was hanging from a wall by silver chains, my skin seared with it and I jerked when a leather clad hand came forward to comfort me or shut up my groans, I wasn’t sure. Ointment was applied to my wrists and water was brought to my lips. I didn’t realize my lower lip was busted until the sodium in the tepid water touched it, then I could remember being clocked in the jaw with a chain wrapped fist.

I drank the water greedily finding my throat parched and realized that I was able to breathe better. My chest didn’t seem so constricted, the tickle of what was left of the stays on my corset top against my skin informed me of why.

Realizing I would be smarter to keep quiet I managed to fight the fear and ask about the driver from the car. He was a father and husband and even though I wasn’t sure what was going on I was sure Mark was innocent of everything except being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I guess that I didn’t beg or plead for my life amused the leader because he laughed although calling that sound something with a pleasant connotation seemed wrong. He made his way from the shadowy corner and snapped his fingers while two baby faced guys brought him a stool and a bottle of amber liquid.

He sat there sipping the booze and staring at me. I wasn’t going to piss him off further by asking the question again, but I refused to cower to this man, so I met his gaze, not in challenge not in respect but rather in acknowledgement of his authority at this point. I wasn’t sure how long ago I had been taken but I knew I had to be missed by now and that I would be found.

It was hard to hide the relief this brought to me and apparently it showed in my eyes because one minute the aging biker was sitting, the next he had a fist full of my hair and was hissing in my ear jerking my head back painfully.

Then I felt him jerk the necklace from around my neck breaking it’s clasp and I jerked my head to follow it tearing my hair from my scalp despite his quick reaction to let go.

As he walked away I heard him tell the guys to dose the water heavier or there wouldn’t be anything left of me to ransom assuming the “damn vamp” still wanted me. That was the last straw, the final piece of information that I could handle, my brain gave in to the drugs and let itself be shut down and I lost consciousness.

I woke up beside Roman being soothed and comforted and I wasn’t sure if it was a nightmare or a remembrance. The face was familiar but so many of the events didn’t add up. Maybe all the turmoil in my life right now had made me drag up old memories and fears. There really wasn’t any similarities between TX long ago and Roman now right?

I don’t even know how to begin to explain about that part of my past to Roman. How do I explain that the worst thing that happened in my life came to visit my dreams and he was in them with me.

TammyJo’s Dad

The following is a rough workup of TXWulf’s background.  It has changed over the almost two years that TammyJo has been alive in my head and just recently went through another change.  Most of the details have been set from the beginning and it only needs smoothing but since one of my goals was for the development of TJ as a character, I decided to break this background out and rely on my Type A personality to force me in to finally finishing it sometime this century. LOL Enjoy!


Thomas Xavier is an alpha werewolf. His father was raised in a family of prosperity but little power until the great depression. While his family’s pack suffered along side the rest of the world TX’s ancestor came in to power with promises to help the pack survive while money was so tight. By the time TX was a teenager his family owned one of the largest farms specializing in fresh produce. Selling on a larger scale allowed the pack to earn more rations of what they needed and assured that it’s members would never go hungry. Grandfather Wulf built upon the family and pack fortunes with investment in commodities and Texas-based industries so by the time TX came along the family coffers as well as the packs were well stocked and the legacy of the Wulf’s being alpha seemed to be secured. That wasn’t enough for George Washington Wulf. He wanted to increase the ranks of the pack insuring that they were more of a contender in the land they shared with other packs. In doing this he instituted numerous breedings, forbade mating for life except for the wolves who already were and he himself took several women into his home, only settling upon marriage when he was certain a woman carried his son in her womb.

TX grew up watching his mother deal with her husband’s infidelities to their marriage and seeing long time pack members leave the pure red wolf pack to join a much more open and inclusive mixed pack. He was determined to go back to a time where the pack held respect and promise to others but was caught up in the status quo until he came to power. Once TX became alpha he met Lila who he later made his wife and treated her like a queen and equal.

TX chose to increase the pack by adopting children and taking in strays and lone wolves if they could tie their bloodlines to Red wolves in any way. His wife delivered to him a healthy daughter and while he never hid what he was, he tried to keep his family grounded and centered while living a quiet life in small town politics.

His family and pack life seemed perfect until the leader of a band of clanless wolves decided to take a shining to his daughter Tammy Jo. TX objected to losing any of his females who weren’t willing to go and join another pack, let alone his daughter. One night coming from a political rally where TX announced his intention to run for a larger state office, TammyJo was attacked and kidnapped by the rogue pack. TX immediately went to an enemy he never thought he would align himself with, one of the most powerful vampires in Texas. In return for TammyJo’s return and placement into a life that would give her protection from the likes of those who kidnapped her TX had to go farther into politics than his small town and state aspirations. TX agreed, as if he had a choice, and so began a long road that finally ended up in the US Senate. His platform was white bread, middle America, anti-anything that was out of place in a white picket fence world all the while working behind the scenes to make sure that vampire rights were not derailed. More importantly, his cover kept him in the loop and associated with the real power behind the anti-vampire lobby who would turn into the anti-were lobby as soon as they went public. TX found himself in the know and as such, the vampires and the weres knew the true enemy they faced.

Fun House of Horrors

I didn’t sleep much, the dreams just kept coming. A Fun House of mirrors kept flashing in my mind with Russell, Talbot, Blythe and Warren taking turns taunting me. I kept trying to run towards Roman but every time I’d reach him the floor would fall out from under me and I’d land back at the start.

I finally gave up trying to sleep and went for a walk on the beach. I had just sat down in the sand when Dad called, somehow he always knows.

He sat there and listened to it all. He asked if I wanted his opinion which is a huge improvement from his usual “beat me over the head with it” style.

I have had so much change lately, he is right. I’m thinking of someone’s opinion who I’ve know for weeks instead of Roman I’ve seemed to know forever.

All I can say is I’m glad that I seem to have settled down my growly moody phase. All I need to do is run across members of a strange pack while I’m in this condition. Dad offered to send Rafe to help with security, I don’t know if Roman would be ok with that or not. Roman hasn’t been exactly forthcoming with the answers and he may trust all these people he has here, but I don’t know them. Hell, I don’t know anything anymore.

Follow Your Heart

I’ve been to other vampire meetings, they’re never fun but last nights just seemed worse. I guess it could be because Roman and I faced down 3 of Mississippi’s most important vampires, then again it could be that I feel that way because Warren was sitting at the table too, on the opposing side.

Damn, I sure pegged him wrong and he played me like a fiddle. I can’t believe that I fell for the line of shit he was serving. Sure, today he said that what was between us was truth but wouldn’t I say that too if I was in his place?

Russell and Talbot hate me and I’m guessing every wolf. They seem to think now that Roman is with me he should feel lucky they are still offering him this job. I’m starting to wonder how much crap Roman has been getting from everyone about me that I didn’t realize.

I just want what’s best for Roman, I want him to live up to his potential and help him along the way but what if I’m holding him back. Worse, what if I’m pushing him in to something that he doesn’t want to do.

He made a big deal about us going to Mississippi as a package deal, but what Warren said tonight struck a chord. Roman will need all sorts of help setting up for his new position here and I could be a means to an end.

Roman didn’t tell me about an incident that happened at the casino either. No, I had to find out from Warren. Maybe I’m fooling myself and I should realize it was all in the chase with Roman…but that’s not what my heart is screaming.

Damn you Warren, you have my mind and heart all twisted. I don’t know the sun from the moon at this point. Still the heart wants what it wants and mine wants Roman. So what if my wolf wants Warren, Grandma Wulf said follow your heart, not follow your bitch-in-heat.

Too many changes are happening to quickly, I just need to be still and think things through. Maybe I’ll go back up to the roof. Then again maybe I’ll make my way down to the beach. All I know is I need someplace to be alone with my thoughts. I hope Roman understands.

Mo’ Power, Mo’ Problems

Roman got a text message this morning while he was trying to rest. Russell had called a meeting and we were to attend. Roman was a little growly so threats and shots across the bows were probably exchanged but as unhappy as those made him, I could tell something about all of this excited him. He kept asking me if I was ok with this and it was up to me, but I could feel how eager he was for this through the bond. I wouldn’t want to take this opportunity away from him for anything, I just don’t know how much I’m suppose to take from the powers that be plus I haven’t had a chance to talk to Queen Blackwood. In case Roman doesn’t decide to take this job I want to make sure he is able to go back to Shreveport with no problems.

I laughed and asked him if this was a case of “Mo’ Power, Mo’ Problems” and he laughed it off. I’ll be damned if I don’t think I was right after all.

Biloxi or Bust

It would be an understatement to say that I say what’s on my mind. Outspoken might not be strong enough either but when things kept happening to Roman, to his things it just pissed me off.

People in Roman’s life keep letting their screw ups and shit land at Roman’s door and I was getting sick of it for him. He is worthy of much more respect than he has received. Maybe it is just me but I don’t think I should have to worry about the man I love when he goes to work in a bar he co-owns, yet I do.

If Roman sits in the bar he catches hell for letting office stuff slide, if he is in the office working people swear he’s never there because he didn’t come out to the bar and speak to them.

Hell, even I was giving him hell. I’d have loved nothing more for him to have spent the full moon with me but I knew it would be just like my birthday, people calling or texting till he got fed up and ignored his phone.

I want more for him, I don’t think it is just that I love him that leads me to believe he deserves more respect. He damn sure deserves more than he’s being shown. He can’t even keep people out of his office for goodness sakes

So when he sent me a text asking me to pack for Biloxi I rushed to do it. Roman needed the reminder of what it’s like to be respected and catered to and his and Jo’s casino fit that bill perfectly. I had no idea that he might be offered a Sheriff’s position by one of Queen Blackwood’s rivals.

I hope there is a way that Roman can live up to his potential and I can keep my job. I love what I do for the queen, maybe I can work covertly to keep an eye out on Russell. I just know that I can’t leave Roman and I would never willingly betray him.

Maybe everything concerning Biloxi will work it’s self out. I hope so, even if that means another move for me. I can see it now, Roman and I racing from the sunrise with a pile of cardboard boxes in the back, and written on the one in the center…Biloxi or Bust.