April 12, 2010 So it begins…

(Miranda’s Voice)

Waking up and seeing Wesley sleeping beside me with Aidan curled up on his chest, lulled by his steady breathing and the precession drumming of his heart, I’m transported to another time, a happier one before all of the bullshit and misunderstandings got in the way…

Wes was my best friend, he literally saved my life before I was strong enough to save myself.  He was my original knight in shinning armor and tried to turn into my Prince Charming, but time has dulled the shine on us.

What is it that causes the end of a relationship?  What forces the people involved to flee or cling?  Is it the fear of the unknown?  The longing for the familiar?  Pure stubbornness?  Some mixed up concoction of it all?

Yes, I am the one who fled.  The restrictions and demands along with the expectations were too confining for me.  I couldn’t breathe.  Wesley wanted to save me from everything, but he couldn’t save me from him and he can’t save me from myself.

I’ve grown into my own, and there are still things I need to learn, but I am capable of saving myself at least a majority of the time.  I don’t need or want to be put on a pedestal and I’m no damn damsel in distress.  Screw Rapunzel letting down her hair, I’m refusing to be trapped in the tower in the first place.  Maybe that is the reason the shine has gone from the one who longs to be my prince, because I no longer believe in the fairytale.

I’m no longer that 16 year old girl he saved.  Hell, I’m not even the 21 year old he married a few years ago.
I don’t deserve to be put on his pedestal and a gilded cage is still a cage…but how do I explain that to Wes?


About TXMoonbaby

Farmgirl, caregiver, furmommy and try-to-be-writer who floods Twitter with the antics of the characters in my head, like @TammyJo__.

One thought on “April 12, 2010 So it begins…

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by RandiSue Lovell. RandiSue Lovell said: -shakes my head remembering @WesLovell asleep beside me- And so it begins… https://txmoonbaby.wordpress.com/2010/04/12/so-it-begins/ […]

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